The Crows nest!

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

The begging and end?

I have not blogged in a few weeks not that I am slowing down or have little or no interest in the world at the moment it’s been a difficult time all in all. About 6 weeks ago I had a mini stroke, all down my left side, for a few hours I cannot recall much except I was or felt I was communication with the great hear after, in some way I was able to update my facebook and send a few text’s to the ones I love dearly namely my wife and sister Nicola. Fox came home at once and I was in a terrible state, my words incoherent and garbled, she said I sent her a text message which said I am dieting and send the police in first, and what I meant to say was: I was dieing. It has taken me a good month or so got try and get back to normal, but the fact of the matter is, I feel quite scared and panicky at times I am just glad I am on GTN (Glyceryl Trinitrate spray) This open’s the vessels to the heart pumping more blood and Oxygen around the body, during a stroke the most important thing is oxygen, thank god it was only a mini one any stronger and I would have been dead meat. Since 4 years ago all my health problems started, I never thought I would end up like this, I was fit healthy well not as healthy as I though I was, if I could only give you one bit of advice and hope and pray you accept it is… NEVER SMOKE! Or this will be your next early stop! I have done a fair amount of things I regret in my life, but I would never change any of it except for the day I was offered a cigarette from a school chum Tommy Grady I was only 6 years old at the time. I am now 47 years old so nearly 40 years of smoking myself to death, the addiction is so difficult to give up at times I can feel a rage burning up inside me, so wanting to feel that deadly off white smoke slip down my throat, I must resist if not for the sake of my darling wife and my loyal dog, then it has to be for myself, at times this is difficult… Because a good amount of time I hate myself, then there are the times I feel enlightened enough to see my pit falls, if only life could let me do this all the time from the beginning, I would not be where I am today. But then I would have not learn the lessons I have learned, I would never have seen my beating heart on a camera, nor see the pain in the face of my family, If only my mum had that chance to see the pain her children seen and felt the moment we looked upon her lifeless face for the last time. Sorry I don’t mean to drag you down or anybody as a matter of fact one of the things that has been keeping me away from the computer is my lovely garden and all the veg and fruit I am growing, there are times I can get so carried away with moving from one small project to the next and before I know it is been a whole day that has gone by, anything to help keep my mind of the cigarettes and tobacco. Every morning I look on to our car port, for a car its rather large approximate 20ftx20ft maybe more, but its got a huge collection of weeds and algae on the stone work, this morning I decided to tackle it with some weed killer the thought of hoeing that lot is um a wee bit of putting, and I would rather be in the back garden doing all the nice stuff. We have had so much rain but over the past week its been sunny sometimes very sunny like today, and all my melons, squashes and pumpkins are looking so good even my little UFO squash is looking great and has the sighs of growth of fruits. As usual my strawberries are doing magnificent, for the first time this season I was able to pick and eat one solitary rip fruit and it was extremely sweet and juicy, I am so looking forward to baking strawberry tarts and Ice cream over the coming months. My potatoes this year I have only grown 3 sacks which is a disappointment, but the carrots and Onions more than make up for the loss of them. Fox got me a new Blueberry bush a few weeks ago, which is already in production which happened after I put it into a new pot with a healthy filling of ericaceous soil. So I going to keep this blog short and sweet and get back to my garden again, on one note I think I might have seen another UFO, the video you can’t see anything but I took a couple of pictures of the craft what do you think?