to Mountfitchet castle and Norman village

Ever been to Mountfitchet castle and Norman village from 1066? Well if not read on its actually quite a nice day out and if your in this area of Essex a great day out for the kids, grandkids, and kids of all ages.




The roar of the Honda Rebel as Tommy Two wheels, and he gingerly turns into our car port, my bike is still of the road or we be on our bikes heading of into the sun set, Instead we take the Treader our faithful Suky wagon R.

Before we head off for our destination, Tom has to make a quick visit to the post office for his tax disk for the rebel, but in no time he’s back and we off to Bishop Stortford taking the back roads to the Castle, for some strange reason we get lost and end up at Arthur Findley college which is the Psychic place interesting we be going there in the not too distant future.

We arrive the whole place sits on a hill, its quite a sight to look at totally made of wood and stone.



But before we vesture into the compound we visit the toy museum and haunted manor.



Talk about a long walk up, its very steep, pity there was not a little more in development, for wheel chairs or people with weak legs its not a place to visit although there is some seating the way up, which when its busy must be used quite often by the less mobile.



Dotted along the path are Dinosaur’s of various shapes and sizes not to scale mind you if there were they need an area 4-5times the size.



It even had a cave woman who for her age looked rather well and had really good hair for a cave woman I expected matted and flea ridden but then cave men and women must have been as clean as us chuckles.



Even old T Rex was kept in a cage missing his torso poor wee thing.


We went on the Haunted Manor first before a walk around the toys, now compared to Madame Tussauds, it was a blessed relief which I found totally stupid people dressed up and not convincing, but the Haunted Manor.



Did not have people dressed up it was all-electronic and sound and motion activated, and it only cost a pound.



And you get to use a little lantern that needs manual wind up the light did not last long till your plunged into darkness,



Which was good not to scary, I recommend this to anyone that has small kids its fun and we all like to hear excited screams don’t we mums and dads?



I cant recommend this attraction enough really my only moan would be it did not last long enough but I suppose where kids are concerned, it might be too long lol.


The toy museum is touted as the largest in the world and I would not disagree in fact, so much of the stuff I remember from my own child hood action man, UFO, captain Scarlett etc the list goes on and on, even some military hardware, bren guns, hats which yes you guessed it you could try on, I have always wanted a German one for my bike, god I would so love to get my paws on one of these.

Even Tom wants one now, and who could blame him if he gets one before me, I’ll rob him.


Personally I think I look better in one Tom see pmsl (hint hint)
I just love toys any toys as long as its for boys, if I was locked in that place for a weekend, I would never get bored and I mean that.






Bliss total bliss, I have not had that much fun since my captain scarlet days.

Now a tip to save you at least £30 depending on how many kids your taking, the haunted manor has a flyer which you can get from the desk it give you £1 reduction for a party of four so make sure you grab one before you pay, and the café is quite expensive thought the stuff is quite good, but its pricey so get some cling film, bottles of water and juice and take a bloody picnic its so worth it, and there is plenty of places to sit down and have a nice cheep lunch, thought you will have to watch out for the local Mafia.



Namely the animals that roam and I mean roam around all over the Norman village, deer, sheep, goats, velosoraptors (be good kids) Chickens and the aggressive turkeys (I was robbed I tell ya)



You can buy a bag of food for the animals it’s encouraged that you do, its balanced and keeps them healthy and believe me they are healthy and fat on the handouts they get from everyone.



I was surprised to see a ducking pond, it had a few animals with in its enclosure the deer as so friendly, thought it was not always so, most if not all the animals have had quite a rotten life before they came to grace the village, Kudo’s to them its nice to see happy animals doing there thing free of pain and suffering no wonder why I love chickens even if they peck you to death.



The village is large by Norman standards you can almost feel the history oozing from this place I love it and I would go back at the drop of a hat or German one if I can get my mitts on one.



The attraction costs £9 for adults Children £7 but if you take a picnic like I said you be quid’s in and you need money to spend in the shop which by standards of other shops is really good and they even sell weapons hats and other stuff thought pricey but they look so good have a look when you go as you go in the entrance of the place, they even buy old games from you too, which has had me rummaging in my attic looking for old gems.

Go it’s worth it, and I guarantee you will not be disappointed nor your kids, in a word FUN.

The Indian head massage course.

I went on my Indian head massage course only a few days ago… And it did make me feel that I have archived something, that I seldom do, for a change I feel that I am on the right path, I know what I want to do with my life at the moment.

My day started very early and lucky for me that Fox drove me to Potter Street in Harlow to get the 501 to Brentwood Essex, the journey was long and full of School kids, Lucky I remembered to fully charge my Ipod, so listened to music for the whole of the Journey which took almost an Hour, I got to Brentwood in plenty of time well nearly an Hour and fifteen mins early.

The journey out to Brentwood was actually quite nice, takes in Epping, Ongar lots of countryside b roads really nice even saw lots of goats, sheep and chickens, and it was a lovely sunny morning as well makes a journey all the more worth while.

But strict conduct and dress code you had to be at the Institute 30-15 mins early for Induction and of course the Introductions for some reason I hate Introductions having to talk about your self hopes and dreams etc.

The class was a modest size of seven souls six of them being females and me the only guy haha just the same for the Reflexology only then it was ten women to one guy.

Everyone was sat in the Students lounge, all spaced apart as if it was a teenage disco guys on one side girls on the other, my bench trousers laying loosely at my bum, I smile at one girl she asks if I’m here for the IHM (Indian head massage), I smile back and answer yes great she says so am I. Then another says me too, and me yeah me as well. I count four heads; two are still to join us.

The class room is long and wide chairs sit around a large desks pressed against the wall, a projector sits above our heads, and a Air conditioner directly behind us, its cold and I mean cold air blowing on our backs well the ones directly in front of it, as the day progresses its turned on and off as and when needed, the room gets so hot with out it something to do with the business below us.

Our tutor enters the room says Ladies and of course Gentlemen I will be your teacher today you can call me Michele, she gives the spin and lets us know how much she looking forward to working and teaching us.

The lesson starts with one girl being the teachers test dummy and she shows us the first part of the IHM, Tuning in awaking the charkas crown forehead and neck then the laying on of hands and the neck stretch and shoulders and off we go.

Surprisingly the day was actually quite quick, I tended to get on well with the other students, thought no numbers or emails changed hands except for Michele who gave me her email, seems I made an impression, maybe its because I have had many years of reflexology so my technique is very good.

I did my test on Fiona, who happens to be the boss of the institute being an odd number and 4 were doing the test at the same time, after the relaxing start, I did the treatment with in 20 mins I could feel Fiona, chest lift and drop, and a soft noise coming from her lips, she was fast asleep, Michele was opened mouthed and Impressed by my handling of the boss.

Needless to say I got my Diploma, and now have to work on my NVQ in the coming next few weeks the quicker I do this the better really, thought I can charge for it but if I need people to practice on, I cant really charge anything for it unless of course they are going to give me a donation which would be nice but I’m not holding my breath since most people are tight with cash.

The next step is to get my NVQ for the Reflexology and that should be a blast since I already can do that type of treatment a lot of experience but no qualification to show for it, but that’s something I might look for a bit of help on.

Poor England!

What a start to a week, England dumped or humped out of the world cup, Ok I’m a Scot’s man and all that, but my family are English and did I feel for them with what happened on the field of dreams nay I tell you the field of Nightmares. Germany did not just give England a bloody nose they made England look like a bunch of Sunday armatures, I think you can say with out a shadow of doubt England was Lucky it was only 4, I felt for James he did so well, and was by far the best England player on the day even if he had let 4 goals in, it could have been much much worse.

I got to sign on this week, and was wondering if I should ask to do the seetek course again I found it helpful that last time I did it and also you get free tea and its quite social as well since more or less every one on the same boat as me, well maybe not the same boat I have got my Indian head massage course coming up in the next few weeks and I have been studying the book I got from Amazon for only £5 Including P&P which normally retails for £15 hoot!

But the reason for Seetek is they have so much facilities that I can use, and all the help that I could ever want and its all free, music to a poor mans ears if you ask me.

And for 12 weeks it keeps the DSS off my back completely which is a bonus still I have to sign on every fortnight which is no hardship but, its in and out when you tell them your doing Seetek, all part of my motives in doing what I want, and now I qualifies for £750 for the course I cannot afford sports massage, if I was working I would never had done it but circumstances dictate that I move along a different path to what I once had known, still its health but I will be my own boss fingers crossed.

Well I have enrolled myself at the cost of £199 to do a one day diploma course in Indian Head Massage course with the prospect of doing the NVQ in tandem which I think usually takes up to 8-12weeks for complication, and I have to have a client base of practice usually this is quite detailed but the good thing with the diploma is I can charge for my services, thought I would think that for the first few months I be just happy to get the practice so if your near to me, I do you for free, thought spaces will be taken up fast for freebies, thought they don’t know it yet my sisters and brothers are going to have electric hair and heads quite soonish haha.

Its been feeling more like summer this past week, I have spent a fair amount of time on the patio watching the birds cavort, fight and feed particularly the fountain seems to be a social point for all of them all for drinking and washing its got two tiers large birds on the bottom its wider and the small one on top which attracts the blue tits, robins, finches and well as doves.



My only problem with this is Obi yep that pirate of a dog loves to have a go at the birds not so much the little ones but doves, pigeons and crows are fair game, thought they are much faster than him and get away easy enough but Obi is getting so agile and very fast he will one day bag himself one, I will keep trying to teach him that birds are our friends but there is only so much you can teach him and his tender 7months.



Whoop the post man has been after taking Obi for a walk on me doorstep was the book I just ordered from Amazon yesterday afternoon Indian head massage by Narendra Mehta how fast is that and my booking forms and confirmation letter from Carlton institute for the course all at the same time, needless to say I’m a bit excited.



I got the fright of my life a few days ago on a walk with my faithful hound Obi, as we walked around the fields we were making our way back home again, I was in a bit of a tied mood, as we were on the long stretch home, I nearly stepped on a large 3.5-4ft snake, now I’m not scared of snakes in the least, I have had snakes as pets before, but this one just caught me so un aware it hissed so loudly I jumped back now the snake I was expecting a grass snake or one of those rare adders we have, but this guy was big slender and very black yes black! There is no black snakes in the UK I believe it to be a adult black pine snake it looks like this, my brush with the critter was over in the space of a few seconds and I did not have my camera on me, damn it I always carry a camera most of the time why did I not have it I’ll never know.

Its a monster bee!

Much to my amazement at the beauties of nature sometimes I am taken aback by something that is unexpected and down right scary, not that I find nature in the UK that scary but when I came face to face with this little fella, it made me think twice about bees.



I was doing abit of tidying in the conservatory and planting my veg patch, I keep all my baby plants in the conservatory to give them a decent start before I put them into the ground.

From behind my carrots and Onions, I could make out a large yellow face looking at me then it started to crawl over the leaves, all I could do is look in amazement and call Fox to come and have a look as I ran to grab my camera.



Turns out he or she as we found out is a European Hornet 1.5 Inch to 2.4 Inch and is not classed as aggressive if left well alone unlike our own bees that just love to sting you for the sake of it.

Been a while since I last blogged, not that I am lazy or anything like that, just been doing other things like world of warcraft, and the usual daily stuff.

Well a lot has passed over these past few weeks, I have joined much to my better judgement a paranormal group in the Essex area, who claim to be very active well its now 2 weeks with out any updates or contact?

http://www.hauntedessex.com/index.htm

Not that I was looking for a group to start with but since I moved to Sheering one thing I have noticed its very quite staying in the countryside, except for the constant droll of cars, vans. Lorries. bikes and aircraft passing over head, other than that, all I have for company is the Cockerel and the odd woof of Obi and all the dogs in the immediate area.



There is the constant and pleasing sound of all the birds which make a big difference from the seagulls of Sussex, and our bird table and feeders are eagerly taken each and every day, so much so I had to stop filling one of them because of a certain squirrel stealing all that he could get his chops around.



Our bed is falling apart, I could not describe it better than it looks like something out of Harlem NY, at the moment its got Bricks propping it up looking more like a car that’s had its wheels stolen, each morning when Fox gets up I naturally sit at the other end of the bed, we talk and obi spreads himself between us looking for hands to tickle and caress him, then it happened as fox was about to take a mouthful of tea, the bed gives way and my side of the bed hits the ground with a thud!

From laying to springing Obi is on the floor wondering what had just happened, Fox has a tea face wash, and my heart is in my mouth, funny we just been looking at new beds as well, funny how the universe works innit?

Well a little on Obi since he’s our ever loyal ever brave sir Obi, has taken to eating Sponges you know the ones you use to clean dishes and the older and dirty the better, I remarked that his poo, would be like a well chewed Milky way bar! Barff



I’m not normally one for politics but what do you think of the new PM? Not that I’m surprised or anything like that but how many arses did he have to kiss and lick to get there? And has the cheek to smile like a Jackal, for once in my life I chose not to vote, I cant stand any of them the whole lot of tax grabbing money whores, it never sits well with me and for once when I CHOSE not to vote I got what I wanted a hung parliament, well that in its self was a disappointment I expected public hanging but noooooooo!

Just goes to show you get a little bit of what you want and a hole lot more of what you don’t, now it’s the Tories turn to f**k it all up, they got a big job a head of them Lab did a damn good job of destroying the NHS, I wonder if David Cameron’s got it in him, since he has arse licked kissed his way to power?

As far as the Sheering news is concerned, the only thing to report is some bloody Husky went after Obi when I was walking him on the field last week, poor obi he slipped his collar and was off like a whippet with that massive dog hot on his heels but give Obi his dues he moved even faster than it did, my only fear was that he run on to the road, and get hit by a car but thankfully he make his way home, howling at the front door lucky fox was home at the time and they owner of the Husky kept saying sorry fella, my reaction was to say nothing, simply be cause I WANTED to rip his fucking head off, and shove his dog’s head up his arse!



Why do people let dog off a lead when they know that they are undisciplined and will not respond to commands? I know that Obi would not fully come to me when I ask, so as you can gather I always keep him on a lead, the escapade of him on the main road darting too and fro is still firmly in my head, I really thought I would lose him back then and it was all fresh in my head again as that ungrateful owner decided that his dog was ok to be off the lead.




Well even more weeks have transpired and still no blog oh! Well, I have been a busy bee, and I have been doing things like a visit to a secret nuclear bunker in the Essex countryside with Tommy two wheels and my little bro Glen, at the same time as the S.N.B there was a military show going on as well, it cost £7 to attend lots of things to see, but really was it really worth all that money? Well to answer that NO! in fact you had to pay another £5.50 to visit the S.N.B on top of the seven quid, don’t get me wrong, the money is donated to the Help the Hero’s fund, something I have already done with the Rebel smugglers for a patch for my cut off.



But it was a great day, lots of dressing up as well as serving soldiers walking around, not full timers mind you most if not all looked like T.A except for one Para, who looked like he was 3rd Para, who are mostly S.F. after 4years of service, but what a good photographic opportunity as well, lots of Germans or men pretending to be German’s with authentic uniforms, with some really neat tanks, jeeps, land rovers normal and S.F. A trader was selling softball as well as deactivated weapons brens, pistols, sub’s and ak47’s the widow makers.



Tommy 2 wheels made a remark, saying this must take you back, yes it did, all I can say is thank god I did not hear the stand too order, I would have been like a headless chicken lol.






Now the S.N.B was an interesting one, not what I expected, now walking to this place you would never think that it was nothing more than what it is a small cottage deep in the Essex forest as you can see from the photos.






You are greeted by the Essex for of Brownie special forces, taking your money with beady eyes a warm smile and giving a massive green wand that talks as you walk along the very long cold corridor for your decent into the Essex underground war rooms.



One thing that hits you as you descend is the cold its quite cold there, the wand tells you that it would have been warm if it was full with its full assortment of people around 6000 officers, MP’s and various tecks, as well as the BBC, could you imagine that broadcast?





Dear people of the UK you are screwed but we are ok, were locked up in a S.N.B unless you’re a complete Narcissist or Orphan, who would want to be in there with another 5999 people when all your loved ones are facing extinction outside?



I thought it was a bit cheeky asking for £5 to take photos thought in my defence I did not see the poster asking for this and continued to take photos, well lets face it for someone who is sick as I am and on dole money I think that £12.50 is more than a decent donation to the H.T.H





For some reason going to these shows always mean you have to spend a fortune on drinking and eating, chips £2.50 (frozen chips as well) and £1 for a can of coke, its like hotel prices, next time we go to something like that we better take a picnic as well…