Well then here I am its just gone 10:30pm, and I’m feeling a little happy no not happy satisfied in a strange sort of way, in the space of a day I have now got 5 followers including myself yeah I’m actually following myself now strange but true I’m my own doppelganger ok laugh I am.
I spent the past couple of hours watching Man U v A C Milan, I was half expecting Milan to dominate and crush Man U, well was I in for a shock, talk about a severe humping, Milan were ManU’s bitch tonight.
Even Arsenal did a fair bit of humping of Portal as well, considering what Porto did to Celtic in the European final; they got what they deserved, even if Eduardo is a diving diva.
I got to sign on Thursday morning, and see the disability officer, its been difficult to find a job that will take me on, ever since my heart attack employment has been so difficult, no one wants me no one will take a chance on me, so its with a brave heart that again I must make my own way, not that I’m overly bothered by this in fact, I have a plan, I’m not going to go too deep into explanations about whets in my head.
But what it means in a nut shell is I will be my own boss, and I got a public I can practice on, something that I feel is missing I will explain more as the weeks and months progress.
You know this little guy looks like butter would not melt in his mouth, but in fact he is so canny at getting treats and sampling just about any thing going in the house, he is trying so hard to get on to the table tops in the kitchen, lifting the lid of Fox’s drinking cup when she is in bed asleep.
Well since I’m going to Harlow tomorrow I might take my bike for a spin, I also got the doctors as well tomorrow got to pick up my prescription for the next month, so with my trip logger you all be able to see where I been, talk about big brother watching you, its mad.
One thing that’s been playing on my mind is Mothers day on Sunday not looking forward to it, my mum passed a way a few years ago, I think of her about this time it was her birthday only a few days ago, as pointed out by my sister, was thinking of getting foxy a mothers day card from Obi? Strange but then were strange people.
On a final note thank you all, for following me, I am grateful to you all, please do comment lets get to know each other a little more I do like to share and learn more of what makes you tick.
Thursday, 11 March 2010
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Am I fooling myself?
A day don’t go by that I wish I could do something exciting like cloud hopping since I got a massive field behind my house, and just jump across its vast expanse, no I’m not kidding there is a thing you can do its called cloud hopping.
And yes that is a bin being used as a ballon platform with a gas canister inside, both photos taken from the cloud hopper group i belong to.
When we were about to leave Brighton for Essex, we thought that we would at least make some money from the sale of our Patcham property but it was not to be, by then the recession kicked in and it kicked us in the balls (Literally talking if you don’t mind lol)
But it meant that I would have to put this adventure on hold, now I feel that it will never take hold, unless we sell our place which I am loathed to do, I love it here in the village.
So what’s our village like might you ask? Well it’s only got one shop, which is also a post office, off licence, bakery, confectioners and card shop, there’s a hairdresser, and a butcher as well as a small café.
Every day you see all the locals rush to get the rolls and uncut bread, that is delivered every morning at 7am prompt, unless of course its bloody snowing then it just might never arrive.
Well it feels that the cold weather is far behind us, but there is an old saying never cast clout till May is out, so although its sunny outside, its still quite chilly and mornings you can still see the frost on Athena my bike.
Well a little about Oberon and his continuing training or obedience classes, we are coming to his 4th lesson so far, there has been a little difference in his behavior and obedience he will come when asked as long as there is noting more distracting in front of his snout, which is all the time, birds, dog walkers, paper bags and family who come and visit us Uncle Glen, and Granddad Tom and Nan.
For some reason he loves to Chew Glen to bits, something that has to be addressed, poor sod comes to visit and spends what feels like ages trying to keep the little terror under control, as I dart out of the front room making tea and stuff.
Trying to gage my mood, it feels quite well low not in a depressed sense just low in a way of, well if I could put it in words I would say fed up with Twitter, I have over 114-115 followers and you can be as sure as hell only 3-8 will tweet back, it seems a lot of my followers are either robots, narrow minded or just plain stupid and working to there own agenda’s.
Now I’m one of those people who will use twitter to promote my own blog but I always have something to say, and if I see something that tickles my fancy I always respond or if its important enough re-tweet, I don’t ask for much but what I do ask for is some times people to take notice, but if they are indeed robots well they don’t have the presence of mind to do so do they?
For everything there is a solution, and I am coming to a realization that in order to reach more thru these pages, I must attempt to do a bit more work, maybe even throw out a lot of followers in twitter, so that I deal with what is important and what’s not!
I was able to get out on my bike a few days ago for 30 mins just a quick, round trip around my area, the first of the season is always the best most of my buddies tell me and they are right, but one thing that I did not count on was the frozen fingers god was that nasty, I feel I could have chewed my fingers of and would not have noticed the pain till an hour later, trying to put the key in the door when I got home was almost impossible with Obi standing there giving me the look.
During my ride I used a GPS Locator which actually records my trip out, massive I even took photos of the trip and one actually has me in it, there ya go even this old dog can learn new tricks, thought trying to get the camera to sit perfectly still pity there was so much undergrowth to deal with before I could take the picture ooh well hope you like my rout its fab and I mean fab getting out and about again after our long harsh winter.
http://www.a-trip.com/users/home/9707
Village Gossip:
Well not so much today in-fact the wait at the post office counter was very long! Having to wait in a queue of people just to pay a bill, and there is only one counter, staffed by Cogan who is such a nice guy but everyone wants to chat to him as well, so what should take no more than 2 minutes max takes 5 minutes cause he hears all the gossip, but nothing of interest today, just the usual moans and groans, from the older population of my little place called Paradise, deep in the Essex country side.
And yes that is a bin being used as a ballon platform with a gas canister inside, both photos taken from the cloud hopper group i belong to.
When we were about to leave Brighton for Essex, we thought that we would at least make some money from the sale of our Patcham property but it was not to be, by then the recession kicked in and it kicked us in the balls (Literally talking if you don’t mind lol)
But it meant that I would have to put this adventure on hold, now I feel that it will never take hold, unless we sell our place which I am loathed to do, I love it here in the village.
So what’s our village like might you ask? Well it’s only got one shop, which is also a post office, off licence, bakery, confectioners and card shop, there’s a hairdresser, and a butcher as well as a small café.
Every day you see all the locals rush to get the rolls and uncut bread, that is delivered every morning at 7am prompt, unless of course its bloody snowing then it just might never arrive.
Well it feels that the cold weather is far behind us, but there is an old saying never cast clout till May is out, so although its sunny outside, its still quite chilly and mornings you can still see the frost on Athena my bike.
Well a little about Oberon and his continuing training or obedience classes, we are coming to his 4th lesson so far, there has been a little difference in his behavior and obedience he will come when asked as long as there is noting more distracting in front of his snout, which is all the time, birds, dog walkers, paper bags and family who come and visit us Uncle Glen, and Granddad Tom and Nan.
For some reason he loves to Chew Glen to bits, something that has to be addressed, poor sod comes to visit and spends what feels like ages trying to keep the little terror under control, as I dart out of the front room making tea and stuff.
Trying to gage my mood, it feels quite well low not in a depressed sense just low in a way of, well if I could put it in words I would say fed up with Twitter, I have over 114-115 followers and you can be as sure as hell only 3-8 will tweet back, it seems a lot of my followers are either robots, narrow minded or just plain stupid and working to there own agenda’s.
Now I’m one of those people who will use twitter to promote my own blog but I always have something to say, and if I see something that tickles my fancy I always respond or if its important enough re-tweet, I don’t ask for much but what I do ask for is some times people to take notice, but if they are indeed robots well they don’t have the presence of mind to do so do they?
For everything there is a solution, and I am coming to a realization that in order to reach more thru these pages, I must attempt to do a bit more work, maybe even throw out a lot of followers in twitter, so that I deal with what is important and what’s not!
I was able to get out on my bike a few days ago for 30 mins just a quick, round trip around my area, the first of the season is always the best most of my buddies tell me and they are right, but one thing that I did not count on was the frozen fingers god was that nasty, I feel I could have chewed my fingers of and would not have noticed the pain till an hour later, trying to put the key in the door when I got home was almost impossible with Obi standing there giving me the look.
During my ride I used a GPS Locator which actually records my trip out, massive I even took photos of the trip and one actually has me in it, there ya go even this old dog can learn new tricks, thought trying to get the camera to sit perfectly still pity there was so much undergrowth to deal with before I could take the picture ooh well hope you like my rout its fab and I mean fab getting out and about again after our long harsh winter.
http://www.a-trip.com/users/home/9707
Village Gossip:
Well not so much today in-fact the wait at the post office counter was very long! Having to wait in a queue of people just to pay a bill, and there is only one counter, staffed by Cogan who is such a nice guy but everyone wants to chat to him as well, so what should take no more than 2 minutes max takes 5 minutes cause he hears all the gossip, but nothing of interest today, just the usual moans and groans, from the older population of my little place called Paradise, deep in the Essex country side.
Monday, 8 March 2010
A ghost story
Most if not all people see ghosts at night time but its not always the case, sometimes you see a ghost when you expect it, as what happened to me one day many years ago as I recount it now.
But one thing that I did was to do a video tape of it and put it on you tube so in stead of my usual reams of pages explaining it why don't I just tell you it face to face like eh!
If your not Scottish or even speak English then this will all sound really weird to you but get a pal who can talk English and enjoy the red lady.
But one thing that I did was to do a video tape of it and put it on you tube so in stead of my usual reams of pages explaining it why don't I just tell you it face to face like eh!
If your not Scottish or even speak English then this will all sound really weird to you but get a pal who can talk English and enjoy the red lady.
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
Stinking Theives!
Well its been a interesting week and not all that good from a point of view, there is a certain amount of paranoia going around, some one or a group of some ones are targeting our village, I learned from Bernie our guy next door that someone had broken into a house on the street, lots of speculation and nervous eyes watching everyone and every car that pull into the car park that sits neatly to the side of our house.
I hear it all from it was 2:15am and the low life’s went thru the front door as the two elderly people lay asleep in there bed, but in fact when I went to the local post office come General store, come gossip central, I asked one of the local girls about it, she was being unduly cagey about the whole thing and for good reason, the owner of the house that was broken into was standing right behind me.
Getting back to the house with Obi howling at me for leaving him even if its only for 2 mins, we were in the conservatory I was fixing out the stove for a nice afternoon of warmth and reading as well as keep an eye on Twitter, the door bell rings.
From the corridor I can see a woman standing holding a loaf of bread thinking did I forget to pick mine up, I open the door, the woman smiles and introduces herself.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nab: Hello I hope you don’t mind, I was listening to your conversation with Leslie in the shop?
Me: Yes I was it was terrible to hear, I was talking to Bernie next door and he told me that someone was broken into (shaking my head in disapproval) terrible news.
Nab: Yes it is it was my house that was broken into, just thought I come and warn you that these people are around.
Me: Yes It got me worried enough to install my CCTV around my property, you can never be to safe, (I stop thinking then say) I am so sorry that its happened to you it must be horrible to think that your place was targeted and ask how did they gain access?
Nab: they came over the field behind our home, and got in thru the back window, I look at her property its got an alarm.
Me: I notice that she follows my gaze, she whispers we did not have it on, this is not unusual nothing ever happens here in our little village and when I found out about it Bernie said he has started to use his alarm as well now since the property was ransacked.
People can be too comfortable and trusting in these area’s in a macabre sort of way maybe it’s a good thing every one talking about it everyone is take added precautions making sure they don’t be come a victim myself included in all this drama, and yes its drama, the Police think it’s a group from Harlow or London that’s coming this way, and yes they did say a group, for the stuff that was taken would take more than one person to carry.
The lady told me that they made off with her Telly, two Laptops and all her jewellery the telly being a 50inch plasma although easy to carry but still its heavy unless he or they had a ruck sake of some sort to carry the rest, and considering this was in the afternoon most people would be at work at this time, still the road is very well used so someone must have seen a guy walking with a big massive telly you would think, but noo it seems he they just disappeared in to the shadows of day light!
It took me the better part of a day to fix out all the wires and place the box for the CCTV, poor obi thought I had abandoned him to his fate he could see me but could not help, he’s such a good helper like running of with anything that he can get in his mouth, or just a bloody pirate as we like to call him.
The good thing about having CCTV is I can keep watch of front and back of our little castle, though I have noticed a thief in the form of a squirrel nicking the fat balls from the tree, I don’t mind this they can be so funny lucky I had my video camera at hand and filmed him getting his chops around a fat ball, quite funny really must put it on youtube soon. As I write this its just up loaded for all to see, so far its all been good, even thought these are the guys responsible for nearly making the brown squirrel extinct but enjoy all the same
I been listening to my scanner for the past week, the air traffic is quite something else, but one thing is niggling me so much that I have to do something about it, the reception is bloody weak, I need a new aerial so I can get wider coverage, I don’t like listening to air craft one way, the control tower is far much better.
I hear it all from it was 2:15am and the low life’s went thru the front door as the two elderly people lay asleep in there bed, but in fact when I went to the local post office come General store, come gossip central, I asked one of the local girls about it, she was being unduly cagey about the whole thing and for good reason, the owner of the house that was broken into was standing right behind me.
Getting back to the house with Obi howling at me for leaving him even if its only for 2 mins, we were in the conservatory I was fixing out the stove for a nice afternoon of warmth and reading as well as keep an eye on Twitter, the door bell rings.
From the corridor I can see a woman standing holding a loaf of bread thinking did I forget to pick mine up, I open the door, the woman smiles and introduces herself.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nab: Hello I hope you don’t mind, I was listening to your conversation with Leslie in the shop?
Me: Yes I was it was terrible to hear, I was talking to Bernie next door and he told me that someone was broken into (shaking my head in disapproval) terrible news.
Nab: Yes it is it was my house that was broken into, just thought I come and warn you that these people are around.
Me: Yes It got me worried enough to install my CCTV around my property, you can never be to safe, (I stop thinking then say) I am so sorry that its happened to you it must be horrible to think that your place was targeted and ask how did they gain access?
Nab: they came over the field behind our home, and got in thru the back window, I look at her property its got an alarm.
Me: I notice that she follows my gaze, she whispers we did not have it on, this is not unusual nothing ever happens here in our little village and when I found out about it Bernie said he has started to use his alarm as well now since the property was ransacked.
People can be too comfortable and trusting in these area’s in a macabre sort of way maybe it’s a good thing every one talking about it everyone is take added precautions making sure they don’t be come a victim myself included in all this drama, and yes its drama, the Police think it’s a group from Harlow or London that’s coming this way, and yes they did say a group, for the stuff that was taken would take more than one person to carry.
The lady told me that they made off with her Telly, two Laptops and all her jewellery the telly being a 50inch plasma although easy to carry but still its heavy unless he or they had a ruck sake of some sort to carry the rest, and considering this was in the afternoon most people would be at work at this time, still the road is very well used so someone must have seen a guy walking with a big massive telly you would think, but noo it seems he they just disappeared in to the shadows of day light!
It took me the better part of a day to fix out all the wires and place the box for the CCTV, poor obi thought I had abandoned him to his fate he could see me but could not help, he’s such a good helper like running of with anything that he can get in his mouth, or just a bloody pirate as we like to call him.
The good thing about having CCTV is I can keep watch of front and back of our little castle, though I have noticed a thief in the form of a squirrel nicking the fat balls from the tree, I don’t mind this they can be so funny lucky I had my video camera at hand and filmed him getting his chops around a fat ball, quite funny really must put it on youtube soon. As I write this its just up loaded for all to see, so far its all been good, even thought these are the guys responsible for nearly making the brown squirrel extinct but enjoy all the same
I been listening to my scanner for the past week, the air traffic is quite something else, but one thing is niggling me so much that I have to do something about it, the reception is bloody weak, I need a new aerial so I can get wider coverage, I don’t like listening to air craft one way, the control tower is far much better.
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
The Hitchhikers guild to Armageddon
The Hitchhikers guild to Armageddon or OMG did that really just happen!
Who’s ready for the coming apocalypse? You me and the farmer next door, nope I don’t think so well for your information, I personally don’t feel that the end is coming but then you can never be too sure can you, after all the weather is worse the planet is in a terrible state, stealing all that fossil fuel and gas must have some effect on the whole Earth, don’t you think?
Over the years there has been film after film and not counting the documentaries that like to tell us in great detail how it will all end, so some of these people seem to know what they are talking about, or do you believe they are talking complete bollocks?
After all they make their money from doing this so it’s not for the love of it or a real passive feeling for the inhabitants of the Planet Earth, and if so are they prepared for the coming doomsday?
Who knows and really who cares, what you care about is you, your family and friends, but be prepared to turn a blind eye when they come a knocking on your little shelter under the ground, of course if they are so hot, then its good to share, if ya know what I mean ;)
Well from all the stuff I have read and watched the best place to be during and after Armageddon is under ground, that’s ok if you have a cave to retreat to for the rest of us, it’s a hole under your floor boards or garden, you going to need digging tools and of course all sorts of tools, now the best ones are wireless like hammer drill, jigsaws, circular saws and lots of wood, nails screws and all that stuff, a quite trip to your local Armageddon hardware store like B&Q, Wicks and of course Home base.
So your got your work cut out for you already, all the pointers are its coming from the sky if you believe in the Destroyer or Planet X, its winging its way here as you read, so get digging.
That aside, you could always hope for the best in your home, if you’re in a high-rise building then I would say vacate it say a few hours before and head to high ground from the pending Tsunami that’s rocketing towards you.
Now for personal kit you go to have to invest a lot of money now not after your cash will be worthless when the Destroyer comes a calling.
The first thing you going to need is self protection a good gun or sword will suffice, now would you go for the good Zombie killer like a double barrelled shot gun?
Well if the apocalypse brings hordes of the undead it would be a good Idea to have one, but for self-protection might I say a good Air Rifle, would be a good weapon simply its much more quite than a shot gun which can be heard for miles depending on the wind speed and directions we don’t know if Zombies can here, or smell you.
And nothing draws the attention of people than a big bang, the object of survival is silence and stealth, if the nutters cant here you then they will not be looking for you, or your loved ones as you take on the roll of Moses guiding your flock over the waist lands that once was your high street.
They say the destroyer will level everything so shops and stores will be collapsed but still all the goodies will still be under the rubble, so have to hand a good spade, pick and builders gloves for digging you want that food just like every other hungry soul that survived the hammering the destroyer has done to your local Tesco’s.
Transport is a must, now leave those BMW keys alone yeah I know you always wanted a Z4 but a van is your choice the bigger the better and cram as much food as you can, now what you need is tins and lots of them spam, corn beef, stews, veggies, if its in a tin take it, including dog and cat food.
Though a few severed arms and legs for the pets, your more important than them and after all tiddles and Prince can make a good meal if your got nothing else.
Now during the End of the world and yes that means you will no longer be able to watch Eastenders (applause) well unless you have it on disk and your got a telly and solar energy (more later)
What you need now is bartering products now gold is ok, but its not really worth much except for the Dictators and ruffians out there and you don’t want anything to do with them, they might kill and steal your woman/man.
No what you need is the good old bottles of booze whisky and tobacco, these during the apocalypse will be like fucking gold dust say 3months into the end of times, and when your food has run out, booze will be a good when dealing with people who have food for sale, money, gold, family h£ir looms yes aunty gladises rose brooch will mean nothing to these dealers, but booze, and fags will.
After you have packed up your Van with all your hard earned stolen food, you might want to find out what DIY Store has all the tools you need, I leave that to your imagination of what you need.
If possible know where your local gun shop is, now this should be your first port of call, you never know who your going to meet along the way so I go there first and get your self and family tooled up for a fight,
after the big cahoona blows everyone going to want what your got, and you must fight tooth and nail to hold on to it.
Don’t forget the trip to the pharmacy, and load up on all the stuff you might need for those little mishaps, if one of yours happens to kiss a bullet, you need bandages to stop bleeding and it a good idea to have one of those Medical books at hand for open heart surgery like the Idiots guide to surgery and wounds be something to look out for, on your rummage through the devastation as pointed out in the Kolbrin bible.
So now you have a van full to the brim with all sorts of stuff, now if you take my guidance on a place to stay you need to power it, a camping calor gas stove is ok.
But after a month or so, you need to get more canisters and these buggers build up, depending on how many people you have staying with you, and also the fact that all those burners and canisters are like one big fucking bomb, as a stray bullet hits that and its Hello Jesus, as your limbs scatter to the four winds.
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No what you need is something a bit more exotic than a gas bomb, how about a nice windmill, you know the ones you can get from some B&Q stores, that you set up on your lawn and it generates a bit of power, so your going to need batteries so a quite trip to Halfords, another chance to have a five fingered discount.
For get everything else, no not that really cool sound system, its totally bollocked now, the pending doom if its nuclear, would have fried the circuits, just batteries and oils for your engine get the best after all its free, to the person in the pink shirt.
If at all possible and there is enough fellow survivors of the day of doom, I would take the opportunity to go out and grab as much as you can, for the next five to seven days people will be a bit all over the place so stick to out of place supermarkets, like the Sainsbury’s just out of town and scavenger around that place, as usual booze, fags and tins is your object fruit as well since it’s radiated and lasts quite a while, after a week or so I’m sure you will be sick of tins of Spam and Cornbeef a nice apple goes along way, and makes you regular to the poo.
If you do come across people doing the same as you, hence the safety in numbers, keep a respective distance even chat if its more than just a grunt, they could have knowledge and information that might help in your cause, just stick to getting as much as you can in to the back of the van.
Now the Van is your life line, if possible exchange it for the biggest baddest mother you can get your fingers on, unless its nuclear chances are its screwed big time and it will never start, but you got to take your chances unless there is a Mechanic in the house, lets hope so, or it’s a Asda trolley for you and as much as your pockets and bags can carry, though a tricycle might help you if your not able to drive, again Halfords might help here?
So your whole family are going on Tricycle’s so during the coming weeks you can practice and be like the red arrow’s up and down your street, for entertainment value, it make you giggle, but its team building for the coming hoards of Zombies or flesh eating plants that slither and slide towards your un happy face.
So ok lets recap a little your got your wheels, food, weapons, health care products, heat, and a place to stay, if your on your own well that’s hard luck, you should have got out more, cause at night they come the night crawlers, it might take a week or two but they will come, hungry people, and not so nice people, you have to defend what your got, it’s a do or die situation so if your got your windmill powering your little safe haven then you need eyes protecting you, now did you grab the CCTV when you were a plundering Maplins?
No then do not pass go and make sure you do, even with other people taking turns to protect your little acre of gods land, an all seeing eye is a must have, since CCTV can see in the dark you will know when undesirables are coming your way only Zombies are Immune to the all seeing CCTV (I think), its up to you how you deal with them, go by your gut feeling on this one.
As days pass to weeks and weeks to months, and your accepted your fait and your leadership as Master of all that is around you, you have a store of everything you need to survive the calamity you will have to deal with others at some time, now there are many paths you can take, you can be a helper, dictator, or Crazy horse nut job. Its up to you more will follow like how to hunt when the world burns around your ears, how to be a privateer during the apocalypse, and how to be the big cheese and running an empire.
And the most important thing to remember during this time is!
Run run run away!
Who’s ready for the coming apocalypse? You me and the farmer next door, nope I don’t think so well for your information, I personally don’t feel that the end is coming but then you can never be too sure can you, after all the weather is worse the planet is in a terrible state, stealing all that fossil fuel and gas must have some effect on the whole Earth, don’t you think?
Over the years there has been film after film and not counting the documentaries that like to tell us in great detail how it will all end, so some of these people seem to know what they are talking about, or do you believe they are talking complete bollocks?
After all they make their money from doing this so it’s not for the love of it or a real passive feeling for the inhabitants of the Planet Earth, and if so are they prepared for the coming doomsday?
Who knows and really who cares, what you care about is you, your family and friends, but be prepared to turn a blind eye when they come a knocking on your little shelter under the ground, of course if they are so hot, then its good to share, if ya know what I mean ;)
Well from all the stuff I have read and watched the best place to be during and after Armageddon is under ground, that’s ok if you have a cave to retreat to for the rest of us, it’s a hole under your floor boards or garden, you going to need digging tools and of course all sorts of tools, now the best ones are wireless like hammer drill, jigsaws, circular saws and lots of wood, nails screws and all that stuff, a quite trip to your local Armageddon hardware store like B&Q, Wicks and of course Home base.
So your got your work cut out for you already, all the pointers are its coming from the sky if you believe in the Destroyer or Planet X, its winging its way here as you read, so get digging.
That aside, you could always hope for the best in your home, if you’re in a high-rise building then I would say vacate it say a few hours before and head to high ground from the pending Tsunami that’s rocketing towards you.
Now for personal kit you go to have to invest a lot of money now not after your cash will be worthless when the Destroyer comes a calling.
The first thing you going to need is self protection a good gun or sword will suffice, now would you go for the good Zombie killer like a double barrelled shot gun?
Well if the apocalypse brings hordes of the undead it would be a good Idea to have one, but for self-protection might I say a good Air Rifle, would be a good weapon simply its much more quite than a shot gun which can be heard for miles depending on the wind speed and directions we don’t know if Zombies can here, or smell you.
And nothing draws the attention of people than a big bang, the object of survival is silence and stealth, if the nutters cant here you then they will not be looking for you, or your loved ones as you take on the roll of Moses guiding your flock over the waist lands that once was your high street.
They say the destroyer will level everything so shops and stores will be collapsed but still all the goodies will still be under the rubble, so have to hand a good spade, pick and builders gloves for digging you want that food just like every other hungry soul that survived the hammering the destroyer has done to your local Tesco’s.
Transport is a must, now leave those BMW keys alone yeah I know you always wanted a Z4 but a van is your choice the bigger the better and cram as much food as you can, now what you need is tins and lots of them spam, corn beef, stews, veggies, if its in a tin take it, including dog and cat food.
Though a few severed arms and legs for the pets, your more important than them and after all tiddles and Prince can make a good meal if your got nothing else.
Now during the End of the world and yes that means you will no longer be able to watch Eastenders (applause) well unless you have it on disk and your got a telly and solar energy (more later)
What you need now is bartering products now gold is ok, but its not really worth much except for the Dictators and ruffians out there and you don’t want anything to do with them, they might kill and steal your woman/man.
No what you need is the good old bottles of booze whisky and tobacco, these during the apocalypse will be like fucking gold dust say 3months into the end of times, and when your food has run out, booze will be a good when dealing with people who have food for sale, money, gold, family h£ir looms yes aunty gladises rose brooch will mean nothing to these dealers, but booze, and fags will.
After you have packed up your Van with all your hard earned stolen food, you might want to find out what DIY Store has all the tools you need, I leave that to your imagination of what you need.
If possible know where your local gun shop is, now this should be your first port of call, you never know who your going to meet along the way so I go there first and get your self and family tooled up for a fight,
after the big cahoona blows everyone going to want what your got, and you must fight tooth and nail to hold on to it.
Don’t forget the trip to the pharmacy, and load up on all the stuff you might need for those little mishaps, if one of yours happens to kiss a bullet, you need bandages to stop bleeding and it a good idea to have one of those Medical books at hand for open heart surgery like the Idiots guide to surgery and wounds be something to look out for, on your rummage through the devastation as pointed out in the Kolbrin bible.
So now you have a van full to the brim with all sorts of stuff, now if you take my guidance on a place to stay you need to power it, a camping calor gas stove is ok.
But after a month or so, you need to get more canisters and these buggers build up, depending on how many people you have staying with you, and also the fact that all those burners and canisters are like one big fucking bomb, as a stray bullet hits that and its Hello Jesus, as your limbs scatter to the four winds.
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No what you need is something a bit more exotic than a gas bomb, how about a nice windmill, you know the ones you can get from some B&Q stores, that you set up on your lawn and it generates a bit of power, so your going to need batteries so a quite trip to Halfords, another chance to have a five fingered discount.
For get everything else, no not that really cool sound system, its totally bollocked now, the pending doom if its nuclear, would have fried the circuits, just batteries and oils for your engine get the best after all its free, to the person in the pink shirt.
If at all possible and there is enough fellow survivors of the day of doom, I would take the opportunity to go out and grab as much as you can, for the next five to seven days people will be a bit all over the place so stick to out of place supermarkets, like the Sainsbury’s just out of town and scavenger around that place, as usual booze, fags and tins is your object fruit as well since it’s radiated and lasts quite a while, after a week or so I’m sure you will be sick of tins of Spam and Cornbeef a nice apple goes along way, and makes you regular to the poo.
If you do come across people doing the same as you, hence the safety in numbers, keep a respective distance even chat if its more than just a grunt, they could have knowledge and information that might help in your cause, just stick to getting as much as you can in to the back of the van.
Now the Van is your life line, if possible exchange it for the biggest baddest mother you can get your fingers on, unless its nuclear chances are its screwed big time and it will never start, but you got to take your chances unless there is a Mechanic in the house, lets hope so, or it’s a Asda trolley for you and as much as your pockets and bags can carry, though a tricycle might help you if your not able to drive, again Halfords might help here?
So your whole family are going on Tricycle’s so during the coming weeks you can practice and be like the red arrow’s up and down your street, for entertainment value, it make you giggle, but its team building for the coming hoards of Zombies or flesh eating plants that slither and slide towards your un happy face.
So ok lets recap a little your got your wheels, food, weapons, health care products, heat, and a place to stay, if your on your own well that’s hard luck, you should have got out more, cause at night they come the night crawlers, it might take a week or two but they will come, hungry people, and not so nice people, you have to defend what your got, it’s a do or die situation so if your got your windmill powering your little safe haven then you need eyes protecting you, now did you grab the CCTV when you were a plundering Maplins?
No then do not pass go and make sure you do, even with other people taking turns to protect your little acre of gods land, an all seeing eye is a must have, since CCTV can see in the dark you will know when undesirables are coming your way only Zombies are Immune to the all seeing CCTV (I think), its up to you how you deal with them, go by your gut feeling on this one.
As days pass to weeks and weeks to months, and your accepted your fait and your leadership as Master of all that is around you, you have a store of everything you need to survive the calamity you will have to deal with others at some time, now there are many paths you can take, you can be a helper, dictator, or Crazy horse nut job. Its up to you more will follow like how to hunt when the world burns around your ears, how to be a privateer during the apocalypse, and how to be the big cheese and running an empire.
And the most important thing to remember during this time is!
Run run run away!
Saturday, 6 February 2010
Some how 2010 has a good ring to it, I can’t clearly put my finger on it, It just does that’s all, well its been over a week since I last posted, considering I tend to post quite a large blog this time I am going right to the Jugular as Dracula would put it.
Well, My benefits are all fixed out I am getting money at last and back dated I would not accept anything less, and for all the tooing and throwing I have even been compensated, (Compensated makes me think of Ferengies) of the Princely sum of £100 for the balls up they did, now that’s what I call sticking to your guns, with the total help of Fox for writing the letter to the head of the DSS.
That aside, its been a busy and yet there were times of tribulation and spending money.
Just over a week ago, a very famous church in Sheering nearly burned down, St Mary’s in Sheering which is relatively close to where I stay, suffered very bad smoke damage, and a few of the pews got badly burned, its still unclear how it started but faulty wires were blamed, which is fine if you date back to the mid 12th century, being close I took Oberon for a walk to have a look,
surprised to see that the local radio station and BBC local telly was there to film and photograph the damage, it amazes me that the media is driven by disasters of sorts, you only need to look at Haiti to see how the media works, I find these people with out scruples or morals, its one thing to report something but its quite another to actually push your way around, its called public interest, I call it rude.
One BBC man said can you move I want this shot, I told him actually I stay here so you can wait, and proceeded to take my own photos, but its ok to photograph a building its quite another to actually photograph what is important.
I did not take many in fact I did not want photos of the building or the smashed windows, what was more interesting was laying on the ground, the smouldering pews and books, said more to me than what was in the building.
How many fingers have flicked though the books of worship, how many happy bums sat on what was left of the pews.
I got my self a new CCTV system yesterday it had come in double time from Maplins, So next week I be trying to wire it all in, and I have plans other than home security, I intend to start a sky watch 24/7 and as you know or don’t I believe in the existence of UFO’s
So I am going to dedicate one camera to be pointed across the field where I stay and record everything that goes on at night, Essex has a rich history of UFO’s so I am playing my little part in documentation of what goes on in and around my little hamlet of Sheering, which is great its wide open and very quite if you can forgive the constant traffic going from Harlow- Hatfield Broad Oak on a daily basis, but it tails of at night.
Which brings me on to what am I going to call a site that handles the video and information I have thought of Project Blue book if your in to UFO’s you know what that means, not original but a poke in the eye for the Americans.
One thing that’s getting on my nerves is in the papers at the moment all this John Terry stuff and his sacking of being captain of England football, my only question is do you really give a toss? I mean who really cares? Is it that important? Lets face it when England goes to the world cup, the focus will not be on the team but the fans as it always is, and the hope that a fight or riot kicks off, this my friends is the hope of the media, they want bad boys not glory, but they will take that if there’s nothing else to give.
British newspapers are driven by Chaos not Order, it seeks to sensationalize horror, apathy, hate, loss and disorder, its only motive is Lies, hate and bending of truth.
There is only 3 good things or 4 if your Scottish about newspapers!
1 Used for when you run out of toilet paper
2 Good for puppy peeing training
3 Good for a fire
4 To keep my chips warm (In Scotland only)
I been somewhat of a Net nut for the past few weeks, and telly addict as well, that comes from having a laptop/notebook sitting on my knees as I watch and tweet what I see, Not bad but going to bed at night, troubles me simply because I full my head of some sort of pending disaster and end of world scenario, like on History HD at the moment we have the Nostradamus effect, I have been following this program from the beginning and tapering it just in case I fall asleep before the end.
Yeah knowing my luck I would fall asleep as a meteor, earthquake, super volcano, Aliens, Nuclear, Polar shift, yadda yadda, hits, crashes and plunders the earth, not that we are at a disadvantage over some major catastrophes that have blighted our little ball of dirt from time to time.
I think what gets to me, is the gusto that the presenters pile no spew out all this information, Ok the Mayans were quite a brainy bunch of people and could not see by 2012, and now I find the Hindus, Hopi Indians and of course now the Kolbrin bible and its great big dirty planetoid called the Destroyer, with a name like that is it little wonder why Prozac is so in demand, I know I be reaching for the medicine cabinet, just to dull the monotone doom mongers.
Now I have given this much thought and have decided to do a end of days blog just for your benefit and what you will need to survive the coming apocalypse in 2012, so stay peeled, I will only say it once lol and once only, I have my own preparation to take care off.
So keep safe and don’t Panic as is told in the Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy.
Well, My benefits are all fixed out I am getting money at last and back dated I would not accept anything less, and for all the tooing and throwing I have even been compensated, (Compensated makes me think of Ferengies) of the Princely sum of £100 for the balls up they did, now that’s what I call sticking to your guns, with the total help of Fox for writing the letter to the head of the DSS.
That aside, its been a busy and yet there were times of tribulation and spending money.
Just over a week ago, a very famous church in Sheering nearly burned down, St Mary’s in Sheering which is relatively close to where I stay, suffered very bad smoke damage, and a few of the pews got badly burned, its still unclear how it started but faulty wires were blamed, which is fine if you date back to the mid 12th century, being close I took Oberon for a walk to have a look,
surprised to see that the local radio station and BBC local telly was there to film and photograph the damage, it amazes me that the media is driven by disasters of sorts, you only need to look at Haiti to see how the media works, I find these people with out scruples or morals, its one thing to report something but its quite another to actually push your way around, its called public interest, I call it rude.
One BBC man said can you move I want this shot, I told him actually I stay here so you can wait, and proceeded to take my own photos, but its ok to photograph a building its quite another to actually photograph what is important.
I did not take many in fact I did not want photos of the building or the smashed windows, what was more interesting was laying on the ground, the smouldering pews and books, said more to me than what was in the building.
How many fingers have flicked though the books of worship, how many happy bums sat on what was left of the pews.
I got my self a new CCTV system yesterday it had come in double time from Maplins, So next week I be trying to wire it all in, and I have plans other than home security, I intend to start a sky watch 24/7 and as you know or don’t I believe in the existence of UFO’s
So I am going to dedicate one camera to be pointed across the field where I stay and record everything that goes on at night, Essex has a rich history of UFO’s so I am playing my little part in documentation of what goes on in and around my little hamlet of Sheering, which is great its wide open and very quite if you can forgive the constant traffic going from Harlow- Hatfield Broad Oak on a daily basis, but it tails of at night.
Which brings me on to what am I going to call a site that handles the video and information I have thought of Project Blue book if your in to UFO’s you know what that means, not original but a poke in the eye for the Americans.
One thing that’s getting on my nerves is in the papers at the moment all this John Terry stuff and his sacking of being captain of England football, my only question is do you really give a toss? I mean who really cares? Is it that important? Lets face it when England goes to the world cup, the focus will not be on the team but the fans as it always is, and the hope that a fight or riot kicks off, this my friends is the hope of the media, they want bad boys not glory, but they will take that if there’s nothing else to give.
British newspapers are driven by Chaos not Order, it seeks to sensationalize horror, apathy, hate, loss and disorder, its only motive is Lies, hate and bending of truth.
There is only 3 good things or 4 if your Scottish about newspapers!
1 Used for when you run out of toilet paper
2 Good for puppy peeing training
3 Good for a fire
4 To keep my chips warm (In Scotland only)
I been somewhat of a Net nut for the past few weeks, and telly addict as well, that comes from having a laptop/notebook sitting on my knees as I watch and tweet what I see, Not bad but going to bed at night, troubles me simply because I full my head of some sort of pending disaster and end of world scenario, like on History HD at the moment we have the Nostradamus effect, I have been following this program from the beginning and tapering it just in case I fall asleep before the end.
Yeah knowing my luck I would fall asleep as a meteor, earthquake, super volcano, Aliens, Nuclear, Polar shift, yadda yadda, hits, crashes and plunders the earth, not that we are at a disadvantage over some major catastrophes that have blighted our little ball of dirt from time to time.
I think what gets to me, is the gusto that the presenters pile no spew out all this information, Ok the Mayans were quite a brainy bunch of people and could not see by 2012, and now I find the Hindus, Hopi Indians and of course now the Kolbrin bible and its great big dirty planetoid called the Destroyer, with a name like that is it little wonder why Prozac is so in demand, I know I be reaching for the medicine cabinet, just to dull the monotone doom mongers.
Now I have given this much thought and have decided to do a end of days blog just for your benefit and what you will need to survive the coming apocalypse in 2012, so stay peeled, I will only say it once lol and once only, I have my own preparation to take care off.
So keep safe and don’t Panic as is told in the Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy.
Thursday, 21 January 2010
Belated new year to ya all
Well a belated happy Yule and a prosperous new year to you all, and lets hope a great new year as well, I must admit it was ok for me, a bit quite which was ok, as far as I can tell, it was and fingers crossed will continue to be a good new year.
Well like the rest of the UK, we had snow to contend with lots of it, I particularly like the satellite photo of the UK from space covered in the white stuff, December brought home our little Oberon aka Obi, our lovable and pissy little puppy full of joy but has a water problem as all puppy’s do.
My on going fight with the DSS and benefits is now over thank god, I finally got them all fixed out, I know some people go kicking and screaming at them to get things done, to be truthful I was near that stage after 16 weeks well from the 13th of October 09 to Jan 19th 2010 a long time in coming but least its here now, and I got an interview with the Jobseekers tomorrow Friday, as well as a disability officer at the Job centre as well to contend with fingers crossed that it all works out.
Sitting one night watching telly with Fox, We could hear fire engines howl up the street, heading of to some place which sounded near to us, taking Obi out to the garden for his nightly pee, we always walk to the back of the garden, a smell hit my nose, the smell of burnt wood, it was quite strong, looking around I could not fathom out where it was coming from, but it hung in the air, like a warning, was the tavern or house on fire and I did not see it? Well looking around there was nothing a miss all was safe and well.
The next morning before Fox went off to work, we were having our cup of tea watching the news we found that a local Church was on fire, so that’s where the smell came from!
The Church called St Mary’s dates back to the 11th Century AD, the fire started and took the fire men nearly 5hours to make safe, thankfully they got there before it could take a grip but there is lots of smoke damage for the church to clean up, from the photos I took it seems that the fire was in the pews which ponders the question how did it start?
As yet there has been no information so far as to the cause, I just hope its not someone with a grip against the church, those these days that would not surprise me at all, after the catholic church’s recent and pass abuses.
Well Officially I am a village gossip, since moving to the village, I been just about stuck my nose into everything and lapping up gossip like its gone out of fashion.
But the most thing people talk about is the said church of the burning cross, and of course the snow, out side the village shop its like an ice rink, cars almost skin into the local, hair dressers who a nice but very gay guy called Stuart, not that it’s a problem no sir, I stayed in Brighton for many years.
I got a CCTV at the front of my property which lets me see and hear everything that is going on with in my boundaries, and I just over heard a bin man emptying my Recycle bin: fuck me Tom this fucker weighs a fucking tonne.
There’s a lot of FUCK in that bin man, me thinks
Let me talk a little about paranormal before I post this, as you would possibilly know there are so many paranormal programs on the telly these days?
Well ok I like most of them but I don’t half get bored of the same old screaming from investigators why investigate if your going to do this? It’s beyond me why that happens, but anyway I have been watching a paranormal program for the past week called scary but true, which is interesting, its done by kids yeah kids and god they would show those twats on MH, TAPS etc a thing or two about being brave and investigative.
There are two programs on during the week nights on CBS Reality +1 at 10pm if your got this channel on sky watch it its very good.
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